So I'm sitting at a U-Turn earlier today and this freakin' jackass, in one of those overblown my-dick-is-too-small-so-I-need-my-car-big SUV's, just completely goes around me and makes a U-Turn right in front of me. And I wasn't holding up anyone. It wasn't a light. It was just a left turn on a street. This fat, fuckin' moron was smiling as he drove around me so I assume it wasn't an emergency. And the smile was that condescending "I have a huge car so I'm better than you somehow" smile.
I spontaneously combusted.
My friend who was in the car with me was amazed. He said he never saw someone catch on fire out of thin air like that. I was happy to impress someone.
But I couldn't chat with him about it, I had things to do.
So I parked my car on the side of the road and teleported into the fat fuck's car and proceeded to slap the smile off his face. By the time he realized what was happening his cheeks were glowing red and I disappeared from his car.
When I reappeared in my car my friend's jaw was on the floor. I explained to him that I'm like the Hulk: when I get angry enough, my dormant superpowers become active.
The point is this: Aren't you tired of these fuckin' assholes who have no concept of human decency or any kind of respect for those around them? I sure as hell am.
And I will examine the human race's worst in-depth from now on and post the results for everyone to see, so I can raise awareness for this terrible affliction that they cause, which is known as The D.I.A. Syndrome. (D.I.A. = Drowning In Assholes).
Symptoms:
1) Anger levels are abnormally high.
2) Irritability is highly increased.
3) Persistent look of disbelief on the faces of the afflicted.
4) Look of hopelessness carved into their eyes. (Extreme cases.)
5) Anti-Social Behavior (Extreme cases.)
6) Thoughts of homicide. (Extreme cases.)
7) Isolation.
8) Alcoholism.
9) Increased drug use.
10) Insanity.
Causes:
Dealing with or encountering any person that belongs in any of the below-listed categories:
1) Assholes
2) Jackoffs
3) Sluts
4) Chauvinists
5) Extreme Feminists
6) Extreme Liberals
7) Extreme Conservatives
8) Politicians
9) Certain Celebrities
10) Morons
11) Idiots
12) Rich Pricks
13) Creeps
14) Serious Republicans
15) Serious Democrats
16) Fanatics (Any)
17) Religious Fucks
18) Geeks
19) Guys Who Wear Tighter Jeans Than Girls
20) Self-Centered Jackasses
21) Any Person With Authority
More will be added to the list.
Treatment:
There are several types of treatment available at this time. The most popular one and certainly the most effective one is sex. Sex makes the world go 'round. If you don't believe me, imagine this life without it. Second form of treatment is verbal abuse. (Cursing) It is highly therapeutic, but not recommended since it can, and usually does, end in violence.
Welcome to Life at its finest. I spontaneously combusted.
My friend who was in the car with me was amazed. He said he never saw someone catch on fire out of thin air like that. I was happy to impress someone.
But I couldn't chat with him about it, I had things to do.
So I parked my car on the side of the road and teleported into the fat fuck's car and proceeded to slap the smile off his face. By the time he realized what was happening his cheeks were glowing red and I disappeared from his car.
When I reappeared in my car my friend's jaw was on the floor. I explained to him that I'm like the Hulk: when I get angry enough, my dormant superpowers become active.
The point is this: Aren't you tired of these fuckin' assholes who have no concept of human decency or any kind of respect for those around them? I sure as hell am.
And I will examine the human race's worst in-depth from now on and post the results for everyone to see, so I can raise awareness for this terrible affliction that they cause, which is known as The D.I.A. Syndrome. (D.I.A. = Drowning In Assholes).
Symptoms:
1) Anger levels are abnormally high.
2) Irritability is highly increased.
3) Persistent look of disbelief on the faces of the afflicted.
4) Look of hopelessness carved into their eyes. (Extreme cases.)
5) Anti-Social Behavior (Extreme cases.)
6) Thoughts of homicide. (Extreme cases.)
7) Isolation.
8) Alcoholism.
9) Increased drug use.
10) Insanity.
Causes:
Dealing with or encountering any person that belongs in any of the below-listed categories:
1) Assholes
2) Jackoffs
3) Sluts
4) Chauvinists
5) Extreme Feminists
6) Extreme Liberals
7) Extreme Conservatives
8) Politicians
9) Certain Celebrities
10) Morons
11) Idiots
12) Rich Pricks
13) Creeps
14) Serious Republicans
15) Serious Democrats
16) Fanatics (Any)
17) Religious Fucks
18) Geeks
19) Guys Who Wear Tighter Jeans Than Girls
20) Self-Centered Jackasses
21) Any Person With Authority
More will be added to the list.
Treatment:
There are several types of treatment available at this time. The most popular one and certainly the most effective one is sex. Sex makes the world go 'round. If you don't believe me, imagine this life without it. Second form of treatment is verbal abuse. (Cursing) It is highly therapeutic, but not recommended since it can, and usually does, end in violence.
P.O.B.
"Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT, it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch-slap that motherfucker upside the head."- Anonymous
